7 tips for overcoming Empty Nest Syndrome
1. Do Something; I know this sounds to simplistic but you would be suprised at how many people keep this problem inside their own mind and take no action! Step up and do something, Salsa, or ballroom dancing, Painting or pottery, book clubs or book writing, join a walking club or a running club, sail around the world but take action and do something.
2. Accept that this is inevitable. I cant begin to tell you how many clients think that this is abnormal or weird but the truth is it is inevitable, if your nearest and dearest have moved away, it is only natural that you should miss them. Embrace the knowledge that you have done a good job because they are flying, it is also inevitable that they will return from time to time until they build their own nest.
3. Expand your Map. Maybe your world has been dedicated to serving your children for the last fifteen years or more, then your map of the world could be slightly impoverished. Reach out to old friends and dare to make new ones. You have a lot to offer the world, and it begins with you picking up the phone or sending an email, do it and do it now!
4. Check out Facebook. Spending years in solitary confinement and then being pushed out into the world can be pretty scary, but if you have a laptop or pc you can open a Facebook account and look up old friends. If you are happily married you might want realise that this is also a simple way to meet up with old flames so always proceed with caution. Your partner may become jealous.
5. Live on purpose. Yes being a parent is a purpose, what I am saying is do something else that adds values to your life and the life of others. Imagine the BBQ or dinner party when someone asks you what you do, would you like to reply “A redundant homeworker” or “I help out at the local charity, raise money for orphans, help troubled teens, etc,” by giving something back and living on purpose, you have an identity that will help to fill your needs gap.
6. Still your mind and appreciate that your job is not over. You now have to shine even more, so that your children can fly higher too. How will you role be different if it’s the difference that scares you the most, well consider what will stay the same and draw your strength from that. Take the time to appreciate what a good job you have made, your children are able to go and live independently due to the good parenting they have had from you.
7. Talk to your partner. Explain that you are going through a grieving process. They may be grieving too. Maybe you or your partner are arguing over silly things, looking for excuses to hurt each other, when the truth is that you are hurting and by not being aware of this you lash out at your partner. Appreciate each other and reflect on your journey together, remember the fun times and plan for a fun future.
Life is a roller-coaster ride not only for you but for your children too. They will have the thrills and spills just as you have had and they will be able to share them with you, tomorrow may seem far away but it will soon be here.
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